Good Christian Men Rejoice (for Pro-Life XMAS Tunes)

What's your favorite holiday tune?

I'll answer that question for you. Not "A Baby Changes Everything."

Have you heard this song? Wait - an aside - where have I been? Why hasn't this blog been updated for over one month?

It's simple, my friends: I've left my material in another borough. Queens is a safer place for this little lady and I'm happy to say it. No longer do people sling their unsavory words, their sexual assaults in my path. I am free of this. For now, at least.

And so I've turned to exploring my observations and yours about Christmas music. Times are exciting.

Honestly, have you heard this "A Baby Changes Everything" song?

Here are the lyrics. I'll give you a few minutes to let them sink in. .... Also, here's a video of Faith Hill singing her song, if you haven't tuned into 106.7 Life FM in the past 4+ months.

OK. This is supposed to be a Christmas song. It's on Faith Hill's Christmas album. Hallelluuuuuuujaaaah, Faith Hill's released a Christmas CD!

It's not a Christmas song, unless Christmas songs are meant to discourage abortions. She begins, "Teenage girl, much too young. Unprepared for what's to come. A baby changes everything." Mary has become your typical American adolescent on block, the BC Bristol Palin (thanks JA for the comparison). Faith Hill reiterates, "A baby changes everything." I think I see where she's going with this.

Then: "The man she loves she's never touched. How will she keep his trust." This struck me. Even Mary dealt with contemporary temptations such as keeping her robe on and learning how to balance motherhood, a career, and a needy spouse. How ever did Mary manage without the worldly recommendations from Cosmopolitan and blogs to guide her?

Faith Hill is right. A baby does change everything. I would have never believed it without her song. I might go out and have one.

And then the ending, the most powerful of powerful, mightiest of mighty! "My whole life is turned around. I was lost and now I'm found. A baby changes everything."

Amazing grace, amazing Faith! I, too, once was lost and now am found, was blind and now I see. Or, I once could listen to Christmas music and now I can't because this song sucks so much I might go deaf. I like the ring of the latter better.

How pro-life is this Christmas song? It's bad enough that it's veiled as a message about Mother Mary (when it's really about Bristol Palin and her ilk). Can you believe she sticks you with the hallelujah-salvation-without-abortion-bit at the end? Incredible.

Thanks, Faith Hell.

A baby changes everything is now my new saying.

"How are you doing today?"
"Well, you know, a baby changes everything."

"It's breezy by the corner store. Why is that?"
"A baby changes everything."

...

"I think the potatoes are on fire. The fire is spreading to the greasy pan, and, oh no, it's engulfed the curtains as well."
"Things happen. Like I said, a baby changes everything."

Put the fire out. Disrupt the phrase with everyday usage.