My Audition - A Fantasy

When I audition for American Idol, I know exactly what I'll sing.

Okay, so maybe you're wondering why I'd audition to be the next American Idol. Well, I think it's pretty obvious so we won't get into that. You skeptics, go read someone else's blog!

(Just kidding. Sorta.)

Getting back to the important matter at hand: I will sing the Empire Today jingle. You've heard it, an advertisement for really awesome flooring! 800 588 2300 EMPIRE (smile) It'd be original, obscure, yet strangely powerful. I will beat box between 588 and 2300 and really belt out EMPIRE at the end to show my range of performance styles. This will woo Simon, as Randy notes the clever throw back yet contemporary thing I've got goin' on. Paula will just nod and sway. Sway and nod. I will find my way to Hollywood where I'll meet important executives who will sign me to record jingles for finer products such as Mr. Clean cleaning products and a menopausal woman's supplement.

Next year, when American Idol comes to my "neck of the woods," I'll be ready. The question is: Will you?

and this isn't about hillary

they will
go to great lengths to elect

anyonebutawoman.

i watch
half the american race selfsabotage

election
electionelection
elect
ion
elect

i
don't
elect.